2012-10-11 - Always There
The funeral will be soon, not that Stark helped with that at all. He even refused to go to see Aunt Mellie...Jarvis took the woman some food however and visited with her. It is like the man shut down again, something he has not done since he returned to being sober and the driven man Pepper once knew all those years ago. He would not answer his business calls, and if it wasn't for Pepper having special access as well as Jarvis...neither would even know he was alive. After speaking to the police, Stark disappeared into his Avengers lab, and has not come out, having a cot and the needed items all within the lab. Not that it is everything he truly needs to be 'himself'. No...he needs a shave badly, and sleep of course. The Iron Man suit has not been touched since Sawyer's death, nor has any progress been made on any of Stark's company projects...having the CEO seat just shut down for a week straight like this is far from good for business. Jarvis has reported that the food has barely been touch, except for an occansional meal, but no liquor as appeared 'as of yet'. The man is worried though, the stress lines evident in Jarvis' expression when he speaks to Pepper. "I know the company needs you Miss Potts. However, Master Stark just will not listen to me. He has retreated behind a wall I thought was finally gone for good...I do not know what to do." Pepper Potts has been nervous about how withdrawn Tony's been since Sawyer's death. Not talking to anyone. Not looking like he cares about anything anymore. Aside from her, he barely has even spoken to anyone other than Pepper and Jarvis. Not putting on the Suit once. She's concerned that he might go back to drinking - a concern Jarvis shares as well. She's been doing more and more of the daily actions for the company to keep the shareholders from realizing something's very, very wrong. Pepper looks over at Jarvis. "I'll try to talk to him, then opens the door slightly, coming inside and closing it behind her. Then she knocks on it. "Tony?" The highly secure, heavy metal lab door weighs against Pepper's hand. The knock on it barely sounding as her knuckles beat thick metal. Tony is looking at a screen with shadowy figures on it, registering green. It almost looks like it is within a building, actually, it does. Stark does not turn around to look at you, "I know you are there Pepper." Well, that's an improvement, six words strung together that don't include, 'No' and 'I don't care' or 'Leave me alone'. Impressive! Stark is currently wearing roughed up jeans, and a white wife beater. His chest once holding an arc reactor, has it no longer shinnying through the thin fabric. Ironically, not even a scar remains there after having it in for so long and heart replacement surgery, though that is more difficult to notice through the material. He is barefoot, a number of things apparently have been thrown about in the lap if a fit of rage and have yet to be picked up, even a piece of heavy machinery has been knocked aside and lies upon the floor. The evidence of the rage, is more extreme than in the past. Pepper Potts walks over to Tony slowly and puts her hand lightly on Tony's shoulder. She looks around for a moment at all of the damage done. She tries to inject a small bit of something to try to get even a little smile. "Redecorating?" Then sighs. "Tony.... you can't lock yourself up in this lab. What happened was terrible... but it wasnt your fault... Jarvis and I are both worried about you." Pepper can feel the powerful tension in Tony's shoulder, as if his violence is barely leashed. His jaw is tight and stiff as he speaks with a harsh bite, "Just as Janice Cord was not my fault," as his business rival's daughter and his girlfriend died in a fight between Iron Man and Crimson Dynamo. "Just as Kevin O'Brien was not my fault," an engineer that went insane in the Guardsman armor he created, and died in a skirmish with Iron Man, "Just as Marianne Rodgers was not my fault," his former Fiance that went mad soon after breaking up with Stark and was committed, "Just as you losing your unborn child was not my fault," his biting tone now edged with the sound of violence, "Just as Kathy Dare was not my fault," the woman that shot him in the back literally and crippled him, "And now, just as Sawyer Mason is /not/ my fault." His hands are in fists as they rest against the console. Pepper Potts grabs Tony's shoulders more firmly. "Tony. It wasn't. You didnt cause me to miscarry. Ayisha did. I've NEVER blamed you for that, and you shouldn't either." She pauses. "Sometimes bad things happen that we can't prevent. Think of all the good things you've done. Think of what will happen if this tragedy prevents you from doing all the good things you can do in the future? Think of all the people who could die if you are just..." she waves around at the lab. "Locking yourself in this tomb." That causes Tony to laugh harshly, and he moves in a blur of speed before he turns toward you from his chair. So fast! He moves to grip your shoulders, harshly. "Not my fault?! Why were you kidnapped Pepper?! Why were you tortured?! Because of me! I failed to even save you in time! If it wasn't for me, your marriage with Happy wouldn't have fallen apart. Even away from me, I couldn't stop corrupting your life! And I knew Sawyer wasn't safe by my side, but I let her stay," his voice breaking. "I let her stay selfishly...though I knew it...would not end well. I just...wanted to be happy for a little while." Stark's eyes are blood shot, but not from drinking. Jarvis swore there was not a drop of liquor down there. He has deep circles beneath his eyes, and his jaw is rough with black and white whiskers. "Why?...Why must everyone I care about suffer because of me? I couldn't make...anyone happy, not those I was to marry, not my girlfriends, not you...and now I murdered Sawyer. She isn't coming back Pepper. I fucked up her life since she was just eighteen years old, derailed her entire life!" His hands finally start to loosen on your shoulders, and he looks like he is going to cry, but no tears come. "Tell me...why. Please." Pepper Potts gives Tony a hug. "Because bad things happen in life." she says quietly. Then pulls him back a bit and looks into his eyes. "You didn't ruin her life. And you did not murder her. And Sawyer was very happy to have you in her life." She leans forward and gives Tony a kiss on the cheek. "And you do make me happy. Not to mention you've saved my life more times than I can count." She hugs him again. "Think about that for a while. All the people who's lives you -have- saved. Even though bad things happen in life." "Saved because I put them in danger in the first place," Tony says roughly and hoarsely. But his eyes close at the kiss on his cheek and your gentle words. He does not return the hug though, he's afraid he won't ever let go if he did. "Can you really say that Pepper? Sawyer never once had a normal relationship...," and his eyes open, pain filled. "Your marriage fell apart, your life was risked so many times, the child you wanted so bad was lost," his voice breaking then. "I even make your work life hell." And a shaking hand moves to touch your cheek, cupping it. "And yet...you saved me countless times. Do you have any idea at all...who the real hero is?" In Stark's mind and heart, it's Pepper and not him. Pepper Potts looks back at Tony again. "I not only can say that. I did say that. And Tony Stark, you did not cause my marriage to Happy to fall apart. You did not cause me to miscarry. It was Ayisha. I could have very easily told you that I would not accept the remote. And every single time that my life was risked, I had a choice whether to stay here with you or not. I chose to stay. But I don't blame you. And I certainly don't blame myself. I blame the people who do that sort of stuff." She pauses. "You do make my work life hell though." she says with a smile as you cup her cheek. "It's part of your charm though. I don't think I could survive without that sort of challenge." She strokes Tony's cheek back. "I need you out there making my work life a pain. Not stuck in here. I'm not the hero here. I'm ...." she thinks. "I'm support staff for the hero. Albeit a phenomenal support staff. I need someone to support though. That would be you." Then she gives him another kiss. The peck on his lips, causes Stark to blink, and a shudder to go through him as if something released from his tension. And likely unexpectedly, if Pepper does not fight it, Stark will gather her up against him and kiss her...a real kiss, but certainly not open mouth or anything (though he did brush his teeth semi-recently, thank goodness!). It is certainly not the most romantic kiss, but it's more one establishing human contact and connection. And when broken, if Stark is in one piece, he will hug Pepper close to him and bury his face in her hair. His body shakes slightly from the grief and pain, but still not tears seem to come to him. But at least he isn't yelling anymore, he isn't pushing Pepper away. Does not every little step count? Pepper Potts to her credit doesn't o the big 'gulp' until after he is burying his face in her hair, but then just hugs him, then closes her eyes and strokes his hair, and just comforts him. Stark just holds Pepper for a while, just holding her. And as time stretches, he eventually moves to let go, drawing away from Pepper. He does not quite look into her eyes, rather he turns away and leans forward, his palms against the console to the screen before him. "You should leave now Pepper," his tone quiet and even. There is a brief pause before he continues, "I'll be at the funeral. I just need to get through the funeral." Pepper Potts nods a little. She'd say something, but thinks for right now, Stark needs to process what she said and focus on getting beyond this point. She then heads to the door, turns, and says, "You know. I'll always be here for you. You know that right, Tony?" And that's why it hurts so bad, and he knew Sawyer wanted that too. "I know," he says in a tense voice, but he does not turn to look back. It is never easy for Stark and his grief, he was never much for asking for help...and this time is not likely to be any easier for the stubborn, and self-isolated man.